Why Superlative is Overrated

Intelligent. Educated. Rich. Attractive. Tall. Funny. Successful. Make good money. In great shape. ( I can go on and on...)

What I have listed here are what's called superlative qualities - beyond the norm, alpha, exceptional, extraordinary, cream of the crop, highest degree or quality. You get my point.

What do all these qualities have in common? Simple; they all describe above-average. Above average smarts. Above average wealth. Above average looks. Above average humor. Above average job. Above average personality. And so on.

Let's admit it: these are much sought-after traits that we (instinctively) want ourselves to be. Our partners to be. Our kids to be.

It's no surprise that as humans, we relentlessly pursue the superlative. It's an ideal instilled in us since our earliest days; we were told to get "good grades", go to a "good college", get a "good job", find a "good partner" who makes "good money", and get a "nice house" and have "good kids" who get "good grades". Rinse and repeat.

Above-average all the way.

Why are we so obsessed with superlatives? When was the last time anyone vouched for being completely average, blase, ordinary, or mediocre? How is it logically possible for everyone to achieve only what's exceptional in every dimension of their lives? Isn't it about time that someone admits the perils of this cultural affliction and praises the virtues of being well... average?

So today I'm going to do just that - and no, it's not for the sake of playing contrarian (which I enjoy doing), but rather to advocate for what I truly believe in.

Here are the reasons why superlative is completely overrated and the quest for average will lead to less burdensome, less stressful, more satisfying life. (you can replace average with adequate, passable, unremarkable, acceptable, middle-of-the-road. Can ya tell I love adjectives? 😏).

1. There is little to no expectation of you. If you went to a top-notch college, landed a high-paying job with a fancy title, or became the winner of American Idol, people automatically expect you to be successful, cause ya know, you're among the society's elite, or you've reached some 'top dog' status, right? But what if you don't? After all life has no guarantees on outcomes. If you set your standard to above-average, you're gonna be disappointed when you fail to attain that "expected" level. But if you're average to begin with, no one is going to ask "(Gasp) You used to be a CEO, and now you're waiting tables. What happened?"

2. Pursuing the superlative reduces people into yardsticks. Say you want a partner who's smart, athletic, funny, attractive, rich, and successful. By setting these above-average standards, you are reducing your potential partner into a mere checklist, or more like, a commodity that must be somehow 'better than' the general norm. It's basically implying "If you're not exceptional (or above-average in some way), you're not good enough for me!" Sounds pretty obnoxious, doesn't it? Which leads to this next point...

3. You become accountable to your standards. If you seek a "hot chick", you had better look like a GQ model. If you want a "rich man", you had better be equally loaded. If you want someone with "high intellect", you had better be a MENSA member. Ok, maybe not quite, but you get my point. If you treat a partner as a commodity, you had better have something of equal value to trade. If you can't justify why you deserve such a hot commodity, wouldn't it be more sensible to seek someone, well, average? After all, you'll be less scoffed at when you have realistic preferences than vying for someone way out of your league!

4. Parents, you will be pleasantly surprised. If you mold your kid to be a high-performer in every dimension, then that simply becomes the norm. Getting straight A's, winning the spelling contest, or becoming the captain of the swim team will no longer be something to celebrate, because you naturally expect your kid to achieve them. And heaven forbid, if your kid slips from superlative to average, wouldn't that be a disgrace of the century! On the other hand, if your average kid occasionally accomplishes the aforementioned, then wouldn't you have a greater appreciation for those few times when he performs better than usual?

5. Superlative is in short supply. You want to live in a 'nice house'? So do tons of other home seekers. You want a six-figure job? So do tons of other applicants. You want to date a 'rich guy'? So do tons of other women. There are simply not enough superlatives to go around to meet the demand. In fact, the higher-up it gets, the less available they become. Ask yourself: what makes you so special enough to deserve that alpha guy / girl / job / house / college / whatever status markers that exist, when tons others are competing against you?

6. Lean in for a surprise... you can get through life, just fine! Over 90 percent of people in the world are completely average all around - average looks, average brains, average personality, average potential, and so on. And most likely, you are among them too. If everyone only aimed for above-average ( no matter how below-average they are), don't you think the human species would have been extinct a looooong time ago? The point is, being completely average shouldn't hinder you from going to school, getting a job, making money, making friends, going on dates, and achieving all the necessities in life. After all, 7 + billion people are doing so!

7. You will be happier just accepting yourself as an average, ordinary pleb, just a face-among- the-crowd. If you believe in the misguided premise that only superlative people are worthy, then you are basically implying that most of humanity sucks and is worthless. Now that's a really dark place to put yourself. Same can be applied to your life; if you matter only if you have an impressive career, a face that resembles Megan Fox, or a plethora of important people whom you rubbed elbows with, then you're gonna go through life feeling like a failure, because no amount of superlative or extraordinary will fill that void. Just like an addictive drug, being superlative makes you feel pressured "keep it up" by constantly upping the ante!

So there you have it; not only is 'average' vastly underrated and overlooked, but it's the single most common trait that encompasses the vast majority of us. We all instinctively know this, but don't want to admit ourselves as "one of them" because it feels like we're settling for less-than. I'd say, let's turn this unhealthy mindset around and start celebrating ourselves the way we are; after all, if 'average' didn't exist, then superlative wouldn't either! So to all you average plebs around the world, let's break free from the constant pressure to be more-than, better-than, rise above the crowd, or be one-in-a-million, and start embracing our average, ordinary, millions-of-a-kind selves!

And if this very average-sounding article can help just one person feel better about their averageness, then I will feel a superlative sense of gratification for making a difference in someone's life. 😇

...and average is underrated