What Money Can Buy... And What It Can't

Money can’t buy happiness; however it can make you awfully comfortable while you are miserable.

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but won’t replace you as the driver.

99% of all problems can be solved by money, and for the 1%, there’s alcohol.

If you think no one cares if you’re alive, try missing a few car payments. (LOL!)

Let’s face it – we humans are obsessed with money. Even the most non-materialistic, minimalistic simpleton can’t live without money. After all, we live in a physical world, and all physical things require money, don’t they? Actually, hold that thought for a second… what CAN (or can’t) money buy? This is an age-old question that has sparked in debates for centuries. Ever since the beginning of mankind, money was what separated the “haves” and “have-nots” into social hierarchies– from nobles and peasants to the socialites and the working-class. Since famous quotes about money, obtainment, and happiness are dime-a-dozen (no pun intended), why don’t we come up with a comprehensive list of things that money can – and cannot – buy?

Here are some things that money can buy or provide –

1. Basic physiological needs – housing, food, water, shelter, clothes on your back, and utilities – all the essentials needed to keep alive.

2. Medical care – money can get you quality healthcare which could help prolong one’s overall life. (notice I said medical care, not good health)

3. Travel, Entertainment, Leisure, Luxury, and Vanity – cruises, 5-star hotels, Lamborghinis, $10,000 BBL, basically anything un-essential and first-worldly stuff.

4. Can pay your debts and financial obligations – bills, mortgage, student loans, child support, alimony, i.e., anything that’s hanging over your head.

5. Peace of mind when you are unemployed or out-of-work – money can provide financial and mental cushion when you have no income.

6. Comfortable retirement - money can provide you a good life when you are too old to work.

…and last but not least…

7. ( You know this was coming...) Sex! – yep, money can buy you sex!

…and now onto things that money cannot buy:

1. True love – I mean REAL love, not sugar daddies, mail-order-brides, or transactions disguised-as-marriages. Same goes for true friends. Money can’t buy genuine human relationships.

2. Good genes – no money in the world can buy attractive genes you are born with. Cosmetic surgeries can only go so far!

3. Immigration status – in most cases, money cannot buy permanent residence (aka "Green card") or citizenship. These have residency requirements!

4. College of your dreams – nope, money can’t grant you entry nor degree from college of your dreams. Both must be earned through grades!

5. Job / career of your dreams – this is a rather silly one on this list, but you can’t pay someone to hire you – you need to qualify for a job!

6. Titles or accolades – think: Nobel prize, Grammy awards, Olympic medal, or any other noteworthy achievements - these are strictly earned.

..and lastly..

7. Circumventing the justice system – in most cases, you cannot bribe your way out of a traffic ticket, or get acquitted of a crime, or get exonerated from prison...although, you can hire a good lawyer to fight for you! 😁😁😁