Tired of Being an Introvert? Read This.

Let’s face it: introverts are boring. No, no! They’re just perceived to be boring; they’re not actually boring. Either way, they’re boring! There. I said it. Now who wants to throw stones at me?

Before you bloodthirsty torch-bearers set my house on fire for committing the grave sin of “offending” Introverts, I’d bet a million dollars that you all secretly feel the same – even the most avid pro-introverters who’d jump to their defense without hesitation – would deep down agree that introverts are indeed, boring breed of people.

“But Zoey, there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert!”

Sure, there ain’t anything wrong about it; being an introvert never hurt anyone. But it doesn’t change the undeniable fact that people usually don’t flock to introverts for obvious reasons - they generally talk less, express less, never garner attention, withdraws socially, and hide-behind the scenes. And because of their tendency to be quiet / reserved /subdued/ socially awkward/ shy/ invisible, they are often perceived (or misunderstood) as “forgettable” or having “no personality”. This, folks, is the very definition of boring. Human nature generally don’t gravitate towards boringness; if anything, humans are made to socialize, communicate, express, and interact with their surroundings – all which are achilles heel for introverts. So while there isn’t anything inherently wrong with introversion, it can be a bit of a drawback or disadvantage in many areas of life.

That said, if you are an introvert who’s sick and tired of being one, what should you do? Hang yourself in the cubicle? Wither into your introversion black hole? Hide in your shell so that no one knows you exist?

Woa, hang on there buddy! Step off the ledge and continue reading, ‘cause this post is exactly for individuals like you. I’ve come up with a list of easy, realistic, and doable tips that could help you get-out-of-your-shell and quit loathing yourself. Mind you, the purpose of this article isn’t to turn anyone into an extrovert; nope, that’s impossible. But rather, to teach how to become a little less introverted; meaning, shift the needle a little bit to the right.

Disclaimer: before anyone gets offended here, this article isn’t meant to be some conversion-therapy for all introverts. I didn’t write this post for the happy introvert – ya know, those who are perfectly content being their quiet, reserved, slightly boring selves. Rather, it is for the introverts who wish they weren’t so. I’m by no means implying that all introverts should try to change or become something different; just the ones who hate being introverts!

So here are some tips to become a little less introverted.

1. Talk to 4-5 strangers daily, and in person.

It’s one of the most timeless tactics to break free of the introvert-mold. Most ex-introverts have taken this challenge, and it still works to date; practice going out each day and strike up a conversation with 4-5 strangers, as in people you don’t know. If this seems difficult at first, then start by 3-4 times every week with 2-3 people each day, and gradually up the ante. Don’t know how to strike a convo? Think of places you have an affinity for. For example, do you like dogs? Then go to a park with lots of dogs. Books? Then go to a bookstore. Art? Then go to an art gallery. It’s much easier to start a convo with like-minded people who are there to enjoy the same thing as you do.

Note: if anyone gives you the “why are you talking to me” vibe, simply stop conversing with that person and walk away. There is no need to feel flustered or embarrassed. In fact, this is how you overcome social anxiety ( which is synonymous with introversion) – by practicing nonchalance to fight off constant self-consciousness!

2. Add a personal flare to your style.

Let’s face it: the words “introvert” and “fashion” don’t go together. In fact, donning any personal ‘style’ or fashion statement isn’t on most introverts’ radar, due to their tendency to blend in the crowd instead of standing out. When it comes to style, introverts tend to gravitate towards plain, basic, staid, and simple (UNIQLO anyone?) – much like introverts themselves. This could explain why capsule wardrobes tend to be introverts’ best friend. (look up ‘capsule wardrobe’ on Google images, and you’ll see why they scream “introverts”.) So what can ya do to look less introverted? Simple - add a little personal touch to your appearance. You can do this by wearing eye-catching colors, patterns, or prints. Or add accessories to adorn your outfit. Or style your hair in a certain way. You don’t have to be a head-to-toe-fashionista; just tweak your appearance to add a bit of personal flare. This is how you make yourself identifiable, so that you are no longer a “faceless Joe/Jane” but “the guy who dons colorful fedoras”, or “the girl who wears bling hoop earrings” or “the chick who has poodle perm hair”.

3. Don’t be too modest

Yep. I said it. Don’t be too modest. Or too demure. Or too humble. Or too reserved. Before you jump on me here, I'm not insisting you to wear inappropriate flesh-flashing clothes – nope, not that kind. I’m talking about modest in behavior and actions. Don’t get me wrong – there are virtues of being modest and humble. But for those who are natural introverted, exhibiting too much of it could work against you rather than help you get out of your introversion shell. In order to go from invisible to visible, you’re gonna want to be seen, heard, and noticed. So go ahead, partake in that hot-dog eating contest. Go participate in that speed-dating event. Go ahead and brag about your accomplishments in a job interview. Go ahead, romp around the beach in a skimpy bikini ( heck, everyone else is wearing one too!). In other words, go put yourself out there and do something that screams “I’m not timid!”

…and when you win first place in that hot-dog eating contest, don’t be afraid to raise your trophy in the air and ‘cry victory’ like you just won the Powerball lotto. Let it out; show some excitement!

4. Work on your demeanor

One of the most obvious telltale signs of an introvert / extrovert? You guessed it – their demeanor and mannerism. The way they talk, act, and communicate; their facial expressions and body language; their aura and presence – essentially, what they exude – is a MAJOR indicator of introversion / extroversion. Most introverts’ demeanor tend to be subtle and understatee, using little-to-no outward expression. If someone talks in a flat, monotone, almost robotic tone of voice using As. Few. Words. As. Possible with little to no emotions, then most likely he’s an introvert. This type of subdued or constrained exterior is what screams “no personality”. So how to tackle this? Simple - practice speaking in front of the mirror. Get comfortable making facial expressions. Use hand gestures and body language to add liveliness. Practice using vocal inflection to avoid sounding so…flat. ( I swear, by Toastmasters, these skills are entirely learnable!) This is how to add spice to your demeanor and mannerism. So go ahead and react to stuff. Show that you have emotions and personality. Heck, you’re not a robot. So why hold back?

5. For god’s sake, get out of the house.

Wanna be seen, heard, or noticed? Then get off your couch and go out. No one ever grew their world by staying within the confinements of their home. You don’t need to go to any uppity professional networking events, but as suggested in #1 talking to strangers everyday is a good starting point to expand your circle. Essentially, the more people you know = more know-hows = more opportunities = more endeavors = more open doors in life. Don’t get me wrong, there are (many!) benefits of being an introvert. However, when it comes to personal development, being a quiet homebody is going to keep your world small. In order to expand your world, you’re gonna need get out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there to be seen, heard, and noticed. Yes, there might be people judging you. However, learning to be unbothered by those judgements is a crucial step to becoming an ex-introvert. So to all you introverts dying to shed your shell - tired of being forgettable / invisible / overlooked? Then make your presence KNOWN. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Go ahead, get out of your house and GROW YOUR WORLD!!!