The Ten Tenets of Zoeyism

"So... what are your values?"

I’ve been asked this question a lot – by potential friends, dates, acquaintances, and anyone trying to strike up a conversation with me. Besides the age-old icebreakers like “what do you do?”, and “what are your hobbies?” I believe that inquiring about one’s values let’s you into a person’s inner dimensions – ya know, their soul, character, principles, how they are wired, or their general mindset. So today I thought, why not share with the world some of these values that make me…well, me? What do I truly believe in? How do I view this massive hodgepodge of an existence that is “the world” and the people that live in it? Here are some of Zoey’s core values – or should I say, the Ten Tenets of Zoeyism that serves as a preview of my general perspective of life, love, and pursuit of happiness! (for those who want to know…)

1. Everyone is completely average. By this, I mean vast majority of human population. (I wrote an entire article about it here) I’m a firm believer that most of us are drop-dead average every way possible – looks, brains, personality, and potential. In fact, YOU – the person reading this – probably aren’t attractive, super smart, rich, successful, super interesting, funny, or extroverted etc etc… My point is, you probably don’t stand out from the crowd, nor are you remarkable in any way. And guess what… neither are 99 percent of people! We are all average, ordinary plebs that don’t score terribly high ( or low) in the bell curve of all human capabilities. Which leads to my next point…

2. You can be completely average and get through life just fine! Did I just burst your bubble? No worries, ‘cause here’s the good news – being completely average shouldn’t deter you from achieving all the basic necessities in life - be it going to school, getting a job, paying bills, having roof over one’s head, making friends, raising kids, etc etc. After all, over seven billion people are doing so! If you believe in the false premise that only above-average people are capable of getting through life, then there would be either 1) a whole lot less people on earth or 2) a world full of homeless people on the streets. So next time when your inner downer tells you “Oh I’m soooo average!”, remember that you have enough qualities / capabilities to get by in this world!

3. Dating requirements and vetting criteria needs to go both ways – Meaning, preferences / requirements / vetting criteria should be applied in both directions – from guy to girl, or girl to guy, or whatever gender-pairing one can think of. (LOL). Case point: if a short girl rejects a guy for being ‘too short for her’, then a tall guy is allowed to reject HER for being ‘too short for him’! (seriously… why would a tall guy go for YOU, short girl??) If a man rejects a woman his age for being ‘too old for him’, then the younger woman is allowed to reject HIM for being ‘too old for her’! Get it? It’s the classic case of “I’m allowed to be choosy, but others cannot be choosy with me.” Now I hear throngs of naysayers refuting: “Zoey, you’re wrong! Men and women should have different standards!” To that I say: it’s people like YOU who create gender-wars, hypocrisy, and red pill movements. My point is, if you’re allowed to ‘vet’ potential dates, then others are allowed to ‘vet’ you equally! Pissed off yet? 😆😆😆

4. How you view the world is a reflection of YOU. If you believe “this life is so boring!”, then that means YOU are boring. If you believe that ‘everyone is out there to get me!’, then that means you either have a bad rap, or have a knack for animosity ( seriously, why else would everyone want you to fail??) If all you see is gloom and doom, then essentially, that’s is a reflection of your reality, your perception, and your overall mental attitude. So if you go through life with a chip on your shoulder that screams “me against the world”, don’t expect the world around you to be pleasant, inviting, or positive in any way!

5. You attract what you give off. Yep, I said it. It’s called the universal law of attraction. You attract what you are, and what you can get. To the girl who says “I’m not attracted to 90 percent of guys!” – then surprise surprise! 90 percent of guys won’t be attracted to you! To anyone who believes “all men / women suck” – guess what, you will inevitably attract those sucky men / women! ( or have ZERO luck dating). The aura or vibe that you give off will attract the exact kind of person YOU are. So next time when you ask yourself “why do only losers go for me?”, it’s because losers are what you can get!

6. 'Beauty priviledge' is completely bogus – I wrote an entire article about this topic here; the popular notion that beautiful / attractive people have it 'easier in life' is a meaningless conjecture designed to inflate the value of a few people, while making everyone else feel bad about themselves. You wanna know where beautiful people truly have it ‘easier’ or ‘better’? Drumroll… a BEAUTY PAGEANT (duh!) That is the ONLY place where attractiveness is a definite advantage. Otherwise, beauty has no tangible benefits; it doesn’t get more friends, get more dates, make more money, pay your college, or put food on the table. We need to stop whining about “beauty privilege”, because it doesn't exist!

7. No, not everyone is ‘beautiful in their own way’. Some people are truly ugly! I mean objectively ugly. People love to throw around this consolation phrase to uplift anyone down-on-their-looks. But I’m willing to bet that those who preach ‘beauty-in-all’ wouldn’t preach “everyone is intelligent / talented / successful in their own way”. So why is only beauty used as a meaningless catch-all phrase? I can hear the dissenters say “because beauty is subjective!” Then by that logic, shouldn’t they also preach “everyone is ugly in their own way”? After all, both ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ are on the opposite end of the subjective spectrum. So if one holds, then naturally, why shouldn’t the other? Oh, I know! Because if anyone dares to say “everyone is ugly”, then they would get CANCELLED! 😆😆😆

8. Opposites don’t attract. Similarities attract. The notion that two opposites attract one another was probably created by someone playing contrarian, just to go against the usual grain. I would argue the opposite – humans have natural disposition to people similar to them – be it age, looks, personality, nationality, life stages, social status etc etc. We gravitate to similar people because they are relatable, and in some cases, we can see ourselves in them. This is especially holds in romantic relationships. Pairings like Donald-and-Melania, whom are polar opposites in every way possible – are extremely rare, yet it’s these kind that gets most attention, hence falsely spreading the notion of “opposites attract”. Unless one suffers from intense self-hatred, most people aren’t going to look for a partner vastly different from them, or have nothing in common with!

9. No, not everyone deserves love ( or happiness, or respect… you get my idea). Sigh… another meaningless free-for-all that is “deserve-ment”. Wanna know who deserves love? Surprise surprise… people who give love. Who deserves happiness? People who make others happy. Who deserves respect? People who show respect!! Why does everyone believe these are ‘inalienable rights’, like you’re automatically entitled to? I’m a firm believer that in order to GET it, you have to GIVE it, SHOW it, WORK for it. So for those who proclaim “I’m worthy of happiness! I deserve respect! I should be loved!” Ask yourself, what is it about you that deserves these emotional ‘rewards’? Better yet, what have you done to deserve them? 😏

10. That said, love (the romantic kind) is overrated. Ya know, the heart-racing, dopamine-inducing, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind? Guess what, it ain’t essential, and you can live without it. We are constantly told that without a “special someone”, or “significant other”, life ain’t worth living. I for one, find this mindset incredibly unhealthy, because 1. “being-in-love” is merely a lovey-dovey feel-good emotional stimuli, 2. it implies that your happiness lies in someone else’s hands. So to all you lonely hearts out there - it is entirely possible to have a fulfilling, satisfying, worthwhile life as a partner-less person. Heck, plenty of people go through their whole lives without finding ‘real love’. Better yet, not everyone should find love – especially those not capable of being good partners/ lovers themselves! 😂😂😂