Ridiculous Beauty Trends

Ahhh beauty trends. The social deterrent to the young female’s fragile ego. The unavoidable by-product of capitalism and commercialism. It’s shit that’s sold to profit from insecurities and one’s desires to fit into a narrow definition of whatever-the-fuck is “in style”. While there are countless different beauty standards that exists - depending on the era, culture, and locale, some have become more popularized thanks to mass media and social media – the two indestructible facets of modern era that spread images within nanoseconds and influence the malleable human mind with new ideals, attitudes, and opinions. Here are some of those ubiquitous beauty standards that (I believe) are utterly ridiculous, absurd, and should disappear into oblivion.

1. The big booty phenomenon. Thanks to celebs like JLo, Beyonce, and Kim Kardashian, the appeal of a well-endowed female backside has gained significant traction over the turn of the century. A big butt (coupled with big wide hips) have not only become accepted, but desired among women as the ultimate sexual attractor. This bottom-heavy obsession has sprung up butt implants, ass-centuating clothes, and myriads of ass-centered songs like “Bootylicious” and “Anaconda”. Sorry folks, but I don’t like big butts and I cannot lie! Oversized, exaggerated butts are NOT my thing. It looks really odd and unnatural if you don’t have the figure to pull it off. Same can be said for gigantic Salma Hayek-like jugs/melons/flotation devices. Boobs and butts should be proportional to one’s body size. That being said, I am not a fan of protruding body parts or extreme curves. I’ll stick to my average, rectangular figure, thank you.

2. Ultra low-rise jeans. These scandalous fashion trend popularized by the likes of Britney and Christina in early 2000s are making a comeback. NO, NO, and NO. Whoever invented this risqué style must have desperately wanted to see an expanse of ass or a strip of peaking whale tail (aka THONG). Never mind that these unflattering things expose your pubic bone, plumber’s crack, muffin top, or whatever indecent part best covered; but worst of all, they throw off your proportions. Since these jeans minimize your bottom half, those with already small bottom halves end up looking like Humpty Dumpty in jeans. In order to pull these off, you need to have three things: 1) long legs 2) flat stomach 3) curved hips. Essentially, they are fitted for the Candice Swanepoels of this world, not the average American women. Why, a style only befitting to two percent of the population is returning, boggles me. Please give me pants that go all the way UP!

3. Duck lips. Nothing screams ‘trying too hard’ like overinflated, plasticized, bee-stung pouts plastered all over social media. Ever since Angelina Jolie came to limelight in early 2000s, so did her infamous boner-inducing lips. With her rising fame, everyone and their mothers jumped on the bandwagon to exaggerate their lips three times too big. Fast-forward twenty years, this lip-plumping torch has been carried on by none other than… (drumroll) Kylie Jenner! (you knew this). Now millennial girls are gawking over to get “Kylie lips” so that they too, can look ‘sexy’ on Instagram. I’ve got news for you girls; Don’t. Just don’t. First off, most of you are far from sexy, hot, or whatever seductive vibe you are trying to give off. Second, these bee-stung lips look utterly ridiculous if you don’t have the right facial attributes. After all, do you want a mouth that looks completely out-of-place from the rest of your face?

4. Skin-whitening treatment (applies to Korea) – this one is utterly pointless. Yea, yea, these famous K-pop idols and K-whatever celebrities all have porcelain, translucent, white-as-paper skin, so they’re hailed as epitome of attractiveness in Korea and beyond. Why do I find them pointless? Because Koreans are already light-skinned (duh!). Let’s face it; the average Korean is still considered light in terms of human skin spectrum. In other words, going from beige to ivory isn’t such a noticeable change. So why is going a few shades lighter such a big cash cow in Korea? It’s not like the average person is brown or dark (there’s nothing wrong with having darker hues; I’m just expressing disdain towards an obsession that barely makes a difference) Not to mention, not everyone can pull off alabaster white; as with bee-stung lips, ghostly-pale skin looks really unnatural if you don’t have the facial attribute that goes with it!

5. Drag queen makeup – heavy contouring, tarantula lashes, Elvira eyeliner, caked-on foundation, overinflated lips, eyebrows that scream “fake”. Such dramatically made-up looks may be fitting for a drag contest, Lady Gaga video, or a M.A.C Cosmetics salesperson ( or if your name is Snooki or Kim Kardashian), but certainly not everyday wear - it screams “too much time on my hands”. I’ve always thought makeup that’s made-for-show looks terrible in real life. Contouring? Unless you are prepping for a photoshoot, a red carpet event, or a wedding, why do you need it? Personally, I find the high-cheekbone look a bit overrated. Same thing for ‘larger’ eyes, ‘longer’ eyelashes, ‘fuller’ lips - all considered 'gold standard' of beauty. What’s wrong with sticking to your natural features? It’s not like most of us are going to be on TV or become Instagram models, so why over-accentuate features and create an illusion of bigger-this, or longer-that?

Beauty standards that need to go!