Bragging Rights That Are NOT Worth It

Ahh, bragging rights... Otherwise known as societal badge of honors; the earned (or unearned) privilege to boast about yourself to feel better-than the next person. The stuff inundated and plastered all over on social media posts, office cubicles, and bedroom walls. Let’s face it, we all secretly want something to boast about, don’t we? After all, it’s a sign of validation (such a ubiquitous word in this day and age). It’s what makes us feel legit and un-losery, like we have something going on in our lives. We’ve all heard of the saying “Comparison is the thief of joy”. But admit it - when your bragging right puts you on the higher end of comparison, you can’t help but feel a bit of an ego boost! (C’mon, we’re all human. Aren’t we supposed to have petty emotions? LOL!)

But are all bragging rights legit, or even worth boasting about? We’ve all heard so-and-so going to Harvard, or becoming a CEO by 30, or winning the state champion of _____ (insert anything here) But if no one is impressed, is it still brag-worthy? Even more so, aren’t some bragging rights so over-glorified, overheard of, and vapid like an Instagram influencer, that they elicit an eyeroll every time it’s mentioned? So today, I’m going to talk about those common bragging rights – ones that we’ve all heard a ton of times – and discuss why they are overrated, overstated, and simply not worth the “brag”.

1. “I own a BUSINESS” - ahhh the good ol’ B-word. The proverbial bragging line about “being your own boss” or “making your own hours”, or “getting up whenever I want”, or other nonsense cliché tied to a business owner. (*eyeroll*) I mean, it all sounds so independent and autonomous, right? After all, you are free from a ball and chain called J-O-B. So why is it a bullshit bragging right? Because owning a business is impressive only if you are succeeding – read: making money. If your so-called business is stagnant, floundering, or struggling to stay afloat, that is NOT something to boast about!

2. “I make $______ a year.” Another VERY common bragging right – your income. It feels good to say “I am among the top ___% of income earner”, right? In fact, it’s easy to automatically associate income to wealth. But lean in for a secret – your wealth is not determined by your income, but rather, NET WORTH. I repeat - NET WORTH. This folks, is the commonly overlooked concept. So before you brag about how much you make, ask yourself – do you get to keep most of it?

3. "I’ve traveled to ______ many countries." A.k.a. Country-hopping. Passport stamp-collecting. Globetrotting. This FOMO-inducing activity has surged in popularity, cause you know… we HAVE to list all the country flag icons in our social media posts and dating profiles, and the more you list, the cooler and worldlier, right? But I genuinely think that increasing your country notch is a pointless bragging right. Why? Because not all countries in the world are worth visiting. If all you can say about a place is “Oh gawd, it was bad” or “Meh, it was boring”, then that’s not something to be envied! Why would you want to brag about a country that wasn’t worth the trip?

4. "I have ______ many degrees." Education: one of the many pinnacles of human achievement. Having multiple degrees sounds venerable, right? But guess what, boasting about your educational achievements is only a bragging right if you are MAKING USE OF THEM – i.e., obtaining employment, joining professional circles, or advancing your pedigree in some way. Just saying “I have multiple degrees” without anything to show for is not impressive!

5. "I have _____ many followers on social media." Ahhh the modern-day popularity contest. The ultimate way to show the world you are somebody. Just like country-counting, having lots followers make you stand out among the crowd ,right? However, this too, is only brag-worthy if your follower count leads to tangible benefits – i.e. monetizing, making friends (I mean REAL friends), landing jobs / gigs, getting dates, and expanding your opportunities/endeavors in life!

6. "I have _____ many matches / likes on my online dating profile." What better way to tell yourself “I’m desirable!” than having a whole slew of matches / chats on your online dating profile? But guess what… this is only a bragging right if 1. if all your matches are from people that you want to date and 2. you are actually going on dates - as in, you are meeting them in person (very important here!) Having an endless string of chats going nowhere, or getting attention from a bunch of suitors that you have no interest in is definitely not an ego boost!

7. "We’ve been married for _______ years." (Insert 20, 30, or 40 + here). Wanna boast about your marriage to the world? Guess what, bragging about your marital longevity only makes sense if you are happily married, and you would hands down abso-fuckin’-lutely marry the same person again. Yes, the quality of your marriage matters here. Sticking it out for decades through a mediocre marriage is not admirable or impressive!

Lastly... (for men only)

8. “I’ve slept with _____ many women!” THIS. IS. NOT. A. BRAGGING. RIGHT!!!!! 🤮🙄😝🤣🤣🤣